BOOKS FOR YOUR LOCAL THOUGHT POLICE

Joined a book club...kicked things off with 1984...george orwell...that book is like such a bummer dude i couldn't even finish it like totally depressing why can't we all just love each other...anyway i was in canadian tire the other day buying a bunch of shit...chainsaws, and rain barrels...running around...noticed a guy give me a couple of looks as i was moving and shaking...thought he was maybe gay, didn't think much about it...but as i was approaching the check out the guy reappears and whispers in my ear...
"so where did you put that wood glue"
"wood glue?"
"i saw you pick up some wood glue and some tape and i'm wondering where they are"
"i don't know, aisle 7 or something?"
"okay, now's your chance to put them back before you leave and i bust you"
"what are you talking about?"
"i'm giving you the opportunity to put back the wood glue and tape before i bust you in front of your family"
"are you accusing me of stealing!?"
"no"
"then what are you doing...because it sounds like you're accusing me..."
"no, no"
"i'm about to spend 400 dollars and i'm with my family and you think i'd steal a 3.99 bottle of wood glue and a 4.99 roll of tape?"
"no, no...it's okay"
"i know it's okay, because i didn't steal anything...you have no evidence and you're harrassing me...you're a really bad detective...you're a crappy secret shopper...get some proof instead of profiling people!"

crazy eh!?...fucking guy...funny cause i was reading 1984 and so it reminded me of a big brother is watching me routine!?...fuckers...NEXT TIME I'M BORED, THE MAN'S GOING DOWN!!!!